Inner Strength

Something that I'm realizing is that sensitive people are strong, resilient, and brave. We feel things deeply, which just means that we allow ourselves to be more vulnerable, and we also feel things like love, peace and relief that much more strongly, too. The courage it takes to feel deeply, and to think about things deeply, is enormous. I really think the most important thing is recognizing how brave, strong and resilient you are by being sensitive, by trusting yourself and your inherent strength. You can handle this, even more so by being sensitive, because you're connected with yourself and will think about things deeply and creatively until you find peace. Sensitivity is a strength all of its own - a beautiful, graceful, fluid, fierce strength.

Reflections from Caregiving

I'm sorry if this is a heavy post, but it's something that's been weighing on my heart and mind so much recently.

I think it's largely influenced by my current caregiving job, but I've been thinking about death and losing loved ones, and it's keeping me up at night in fear and grief. During the day, I can busy my mind enough to not think about it, but lately at night, I can't hide from the realizations of future loss... of my own life, of my loved ones' lives. It breaks my heart every night, and I'm having trouble finding solace.

With these feelings comes another wave of emotion, hard to describe... regret, maybe? More grief? How I can be so stingy with outward displays of love, even though on the inside, I'm begging to hug my loved ones so close to me, cuddle them in bed, no walls and no tension, and just keep saying to them, I love you more than you'll ever know. I can guarantee this to my loved ones: I love you more than you'll ever, ever know.

Home

I hope I find my home someday,

Where contentment seeds and spreads

Like morning light, where gratitude

Seeps into each moment, a gentle grounding.

___

I can almost see it in my daydreams,

The pleasure and delight coming in blurs:

Maybe madrona trees by the sea, or

Sand dunes, or some small, yellow house.

___

I feel safe deep down to my bones.

Love wraps me in her arms, and even

When it is raining, I am warm,

Feeling relieved at the sight of this land.

March

Days fall into a quiet rhythm;

The gentle lilt of spring beckons me

Forward, towards light, towards peace.

The sun shines, softly, while the breeze

Carries the scent of blossoms - pink, white,

Budding, falling, then budding again.

I close my eyes, and feel my own petals

Slip off my skin, only to bud before

Bursting into color yet again.